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5 Totally RAD Tips On How To Not Be Remotely Productive On Your Next Flight

by | Business Strategy, Productivity

5 Totally RAD Tips On How To Not Be Remotely Productive On Your Next Flight

by | Nov 13, 2015

With generally excellent blogs like inc.com and entrepreneur constantly shouting about the importance of being super on it all the goddam time and being supermega productive every goddam second of every goddam day, I thought I’d inject a little peace back in to the business owner world.

It also happens that in a couple of days I’ll be heading to Phoenix for Infusionsoft’s Partner Conference (Christie will be onstage again, and I’ll have a committee meeting to sleep through attend).

So, rather than a top ten tips on how to be obscenely productive on your next flight, here are my 5 top tips on how to do SFA, really, really well.

  1. Screw hydration. Did you know there’s free booze on most flights these days? Skip the foamy, warm Heineken and opt for the whisky, vodka or gin. You get way more sozzled for your allotted number of beverages, and being half-cut not only allows you to easily and pleasantly slip into a careless lack of focus, but if your threshold is low you could even pass out, which would really help get nothing done.
  2. Forget the internet exists. Onboard wifi sucks balls, so it may as well not. Pre-load your device of choice with precisely double the flight hours of your favourite TV shows and movies. You want to give yourself the ability to aimlessly skip the boring bits, and not run out. And keep it trashy, we’re here to switch off our brains, not examine dystopian futures. Bonus points if you watch the Pilot of ‘LOST’ without headphones.
  3. Invest (seriously, this is an investment) $400 in a pair of Bose noise-cancelling headphones. Before my last international flight I skipped buying them at Sydney for $360AUD. On the way, back the family in front of me in the check-in queue were, well… disgusting. I ended up buying the same pair for $420USD from an airport vending machine (so about half a million Australian) and it was worth every goddamn cent.Switch those bad boys into noiseless mode and the plane hum disappears. Children crying in the row behind you could easily have been left at the airport (if only). The near silence allows you to slip into a peaceful, do-nothing meditative state. Get a pair. You won’t regret it.
  4. Don’t bother exercising. I only mention it because entrepreneur recommend in-flight calisthenics. Do you really want to be the guy that does press-ups in the aisle while people are just trying to get to the queue for the single functioning toilet?Don’t be that guy. Everyone hates that guy.Instead, sit down for an extended period without fear of judgement. Revel in it, because it’ll be over all too soon and you’ll go back to your other half asking “have you been watching Netflix all weekend?”
  5. For crying out loud, stop giving a shit about losing a few hours of “productivity”. Switch off for once. There’s plenty of time to post pictures of your lunch to Instagram and let everyone know what #virginlounge #entrepreneurlife looks like (by the way, we all already know).

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